


Midnight Thoughts -Or- Before The Sun Can Stop Us

by Abnormal_Cleric



Category: LEGO Legends of Chima
Genre: Childhood Friends, Cragger is Cold-blooded, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Poetry, Running away from home, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27769879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abnormal_Cleric/pseuds/Abnormal_Cleric
Summary: A young lion can't sleep. A crocodile can't breathe without him.I wrote this while I was taking a poetry class in high-school.
Relationships: Cragger/Laval (Legends of Chima)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Midnight Thoughts -Or- Before The Sun Can Stop Us

Two a.m. and the dreams wake you up in sweat so cold you can barely breathe

I know. I know. I know better than anyone what it’s like to dream of death

Unable to climb back into sleep, you climb out of bed and into your clothes

You slip out your door, pad silently down the halls you know all too well at this time of day

Your feet have known this path since the time they fit on top of your mother’s

She taught you how to dance to the sound of your own heartbeat

How to laugh so hard the tears changed their fingerprints

How to stand on the last step and find what you need

Red paint, once bright and shiny in its naïvety, its need to become old

Now dusty, dull, and caked with mountain trails and gravel roads

Leather handlebars, unexplainably rough and soft at once

Almost like skin - my skin, glowing under your lamplight gaze

Your instinct takes you where your head knows you shouldn’t go

Half an hour later, you stop and your eyes find my window, your hand finds a tiny pebble

My window is open to let in the air, the air and a rock

A stone to the head of a cold-shoulder stoner

Who can’t take another breath of this air full of her, and the smell of her mind games

You whisper my name, drag me awake, draw me out of bed, sit me on the edge

Of the windowsill

Your smooth, midnight voice prowling the edges of my bloodstained heart

You ask only if I’m alright

Of course, I’m alright

I’m always alright

For you

Only for you

I can be alright

Every breath I take lies to you

Tells you I can breathe

Convinces you that I am something I cannot be without you

I try to smile softly, fighting the joyless arc my lips have taught themselves

Of course, I’m alright

I’m always alright

You believe me

I know what comes next, and I can’t afford to throw away even an hour of sleep

But I have to

Because you’re here

Because I know you

Because I want to

My bare feet scratch the cold stone floor and the torchlight holds no home for me

These stagnant walls have never been home

Rather, I go home

To lying on my back

My sword in my hand

The very tip of yours

Resting between my ribs

The precious few times I tasted

Death and life in the same hand you held out for me to take

The same hand you hold out for me to take

As I unlock the door and stand before you, open and soft

I can’t hesitate

I’ve known you for too long

Long enough to know that all you want is for me to stand behind you

Letting the rough road rock me to the brink

Of slow breath and heave eyes

Your hand feels like it has never touched labor

But you’re not king yet

My hands must feel like tree bark in comparison, my fingers like rope

Held together with staples and tape

You hold my hand just the same

You hold my eyes with yours

The way you hold my heart

Hold my breath

You hold my self-esteem

And just like that, I’m standing behind you on a dual-sport meant for one

We used to fit, the two of us

With room to spare for two dull swords and, later

A half-case of anything and everything your dad kept away from you

But now I have to stand with my feet practically in line with yours

Hold myself so close to you that I can feel every muscle in your body

Tense and release as you prepare to tear up the muddy grass

Below my bedroom window

The cold morning wind knows I forgot to grab the

Six hundred dollar leather jacket you gave me for my eighteenth birthday

Needles of ice prick my arms, my back, like

Years of bad decisions and wasted anger prick my mind

With every breath you take

You’re still alive

You survived my rough, my tough, my broken glass

My slam the door and don’t come back

You let me breathe out fire and smoke

Breathe in and choke on the words I spoke

You let me feel what it's like

To have regrets

To lose a friend

To carry a burden

To be a burden

The wind still whistles Dixie in my ear, but I don’t feel the cold so much

Our skin so close, you hold enough heat for both of us and then some

I have never felt what it is to be warm when I was away from you

Now I know how to stop

Shivering, shaking

Quivering, waiting for you to tell me who I am

Now I leech off of your stability, your temperature, your reliability

Your hot blood races through my frozen veins

Warms my hands, my feet, my face

I bury my face in your neck

Tighten my hold on your chest

This is the reason I get up every day

So I can hold you as though you’re mine to hold

And talk to you like I’m not cold

For once

Just as sleep begins to dilute my flow of thought

You pull me awake, I pull myself in as you pull on the brakes, push back your hair

I look up and try to find out why you broke the ride

Broke the silence, almost broke both our throats

Broke the unspoken agreement that you’d keep us afloat

Broke the unwritten rules of our pre-dawn flight

Through the dark, damp countryside

Nothing unusual catches my eye

Save the downward curve of your lips

Your knuckles white around the handle grips

You ask me what’s wrong

Nothing is wrong with me

But of course, I’m crying and the words

Suffocate before they’re fully formed

I know you’re afraid of my tears

But trust me, there’s nothing to fear

I watch you snap in half

Your heart almost stops

Every muscle you have

Tenses up and switches off

You try to smile

Try to say you believe my blatant disregard

Of my heart, my folded, marked up playing card

I forget about your worry as you carry on

To the edge of the earth and beyond

I lose track of time in the smell of burning rubber and you

Your red hair smells like the day I wasn’t a kid anymore

The day I decided to make you mine

The day you kissed me and I liked it

I had never kissed anyone before

But I never told you, for fear that you would treat me like glass

Like you had to impress me make every first last

You were every first and I have no regrets

First drink

First night in someone else’s bed

First date

First night staying out and sneaking home late

Home before the sun, but only just

First time I wanted to make someone stay

Second time tonight you halt me awake

This time, you slow gently and smoothly

Like you want to keep going

No skid-mark, dust cloud, like you can’t wait to be stopped

For a moment, no movement

No sounds or flashing lights

You cut the engine and whisper a single instruction

I can do nothing but listen

My eyes follow your words

Off the edge of the cliff

Beyond the forest

Past the swamp

Smooth against the far off horizon

A sliver of gold rises up from

A red and purple sea of empty sky

Slowly filled with daylight

And a glowing, blinding centerpiece

Five a.m. and the world wakes itself up in a sunrise so hot I can barely breathe


End file.
